The Zookies  

Posted by Frazier

This Week's Best in Shaky Coaching

Well, it's a new week for the Zookies. Once again we took a look at some terrible in-game decisions, and a couple of season-long issues. The winners these week really showed a flair for the dramatic, grasping defeat out of the jaws of victory. Without further ado, here are the "winners".

Bronze Medal

Pat Hill, Fresno St. Really a shocking guy to end up here. A coach who has really brought this program from nowhere to the edge of the national stage, and one of the hottest coaches around. Until this year, of course. Starting with an upset bid went awry against USC last year, the Bulldogs are on a frightening 1-10 run. After breaking the Top 20 late last season they went on a four game dive to finish things up. This year they started promisingly against Nevada and proceeded to drop their next six. While some of their opposition has been pretty fierce, including a trip to LSU, they have also suffered defeat at the hands of one-win Utah St. Yikes. pat, you're better than this. Turn this garbage around.

Silver Medal

Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern. Normally the 323 would refuse to put the young coach of the Wildcats on such a list. The school is still reeling from the tragic death of their coach, and Fitzgerald was thrown into an impossible situation. It's been a hard year, both on and off the field, for these young men. While we were willing to forgive a home loss to 1-AA UNH, we could not provide any cover for surrendering the biggest comeback of all-time. To friggin John L. Smith to boot! The second half play-calling is really the problem here. A 38-3 lead with 8 minutes left in the third quarter is an absolute lock as long as the clock keeps ticking. From that point on Northwestern had SEVEN drives, and burned a total of ELEVEN minutes. I mean, even two minutes a possession and they win this game. Look, Pat, just run the ball. That's all you need to do. They threw two interceptions late in the game, WHY?! They threw with a 38-17 lead deep in Spartan territory. Just relax, run the ball, kick the icing figgie, and call it a day. No need to call for a pass, no need for a touchdown in this situation. Ugh, I hate doing this, Pat, but you gotta put away John L. and his crew of morons.

Gold Medal

Bill Callahan, Nebraska. Another one from the clock-management all-stars. Just a pitiful performance. I'm not even going to kill his decision to throw on the crucial fumble. It was a good call, and a terrible turnover. But if he doesn't fumble, Callahan looks good. The real problem with old Bill was his use of the clock at the end of the game. With Texas nearing the ten yard line, Bill and his squad had over minute on the clock and a full compliment of timeouts. Well, he let it run. And run. And run. After a short gain, he called a time-out with 30 seconds left, at a time when Texas was scrambling and looked in danger of screwing up their play call, or taking a delay. Of course Texas didn't have any timeouts left and were eternally grateful. Furthermore, Bill wasted a couple more timeouts to "ice" the kicker. Well, the kicker was hardly iced for essentially an extra point, and Nebraska got the ball back with virtually no time left and no timeouts to even attempt to work with. So Bill wasted his timeouts AND the clock. Nebraska got the ball to midfield in about fifteen seconds. You think another 30-45 seconds may have given them a shot to get within field goal range? Bill, your team blow a lead with seconds remaining, and your inept use of the clock denied your boys any chance at a victory. Way to go, dumbass.

Hey, Bill, you guys have a lot in common!
You should totally hang out, maybe he can
help you work the clock in crucial situations.


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